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We were made for action, and for right action — for thought, and for true thought. Let us live while we live; let us be alive and doing; let us act on what we have, since we have not what we wish. Let us believe what we do not see and know. Let us forestall knowledge by faith. Let us maintain before we have proved. This seeming paradox is the secret of happiness. Why should we be unwilling to go by faith? We do all things in this world by faith in the word of others. By faith only we know our position in the world, our circumstances, our rights and privileges, our fortunes, our parents, our brothers and sisters, our age, our mortality. Why should religion be an exception? Why should we be unwilling to use for heavenly objects what we daily use for earthly?
Rockefeller Center
The scene at dawn, Sunday morning.
Click on pic for larger version. 12:01am comments?
November 26, 2009
shadows
i have a vial of shadows
caught from twilight's edge
to pour upon a dream
and give it weight in the waking
i reached the corner of the wind
and wired it to the light
quietly to change the world 12:01am comments?
Struck
I am struck at times that I might have something. Something real, something of elemental value. It frightens me at times, if only briefly: have I truly discovered a fundamental property of the universe? Part of me says it could in no wise be true. Most of me looks at what I have, and it so seems to work, so seemingly that I feel as if I’ve missed something. It won’t hit me that I could be right, that I could be right on, that this is the beginning of something revolutionary. How am I to believe something like that? It is a thought at once dizzying and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. This is what I’ve always wanted, if it proves true. Be careful what you wish for (!). 12:01am comments?
Quote
It would be the height of absurdity to label ignorance tempered by humility "faith;" for faith consists in the knowledge of God and Christ, not in reverence for the Church.
Awake
I don’t know if I’m going to make it. That is, I don’t think the generalized solution will be ready by Thanksgiving. Which is kinda disappointing; my brother’s going to be there in Havertown this year, and I wanted to show him what it can do. I dunno, maybe I’ll somehow pull it off, but oh, well if I don’t. It will come shortly after, I’m sure, if the miracle doesn’t happen. The day job and the on again off again colds have interrupted the flow too much for me to be certain it will get chugging by the time I wanted it to. Such is life, and life goes on. Make do with what you have, and all that sort of jazz.
In other (related) news, I’m back again on the 48 hour day cycle, working 20 hours at a time (with meal breaks, and breaks to read the Bible). Seriously, I gotta get back to the normal cycle for an extended period of time, I think. Though when I do, it seems like there is so little time to get anything done. Maybe I’ll try to normalize this weekend. After all, I don’t want to be too weird when I go to the parents’ on Turkey Day. Mmm... turkey... Which reminds me, no turkey for the entire month before the blessed day. Missed it last year, since I was in Korea with the parents for the month, and started my cold medicine habit then. Such is life.
What else? Drop dead date for getting The Real Thing working is end of the year. Which only puts me 2 years behind the original schedule. I seriously thought I’d have a prototype ready at the end of 2007. Holy crap on a stick. The quote I’ve been living this whole time: “Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.” [Bertrand Russell] Bert, you weren’t kidding, baby! And I still need to get out of the neck of these woods for some far flung adventure. Somewhere. Still vaguely thinking about New Zealand. I don’t know how serious I am about that. And so it goes, here in the badlands of Manhattan.
In which I’m awake while the other side of the world is awake. 12:01am comments?
Sagittarius A*
This is the likely location of the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy, the Milky Way.
Click on pic for larger version. 12:01am comments?
hiding
i saw you hiding in the rose
peeking from within the shadow
in the corner of my eye in a dream
your whisper carried in the breeze
i know you’re there, near my soul
or even if i never see you again
your eyes hold me forever 12:01am comments?
Atlas
This is what greets me out the front door of my church.
Click on pic for larger version. 12:01am comments?
November 12, 2009
Quote
Grant to us, O Lord, to know that which is worth knowing, to love that which is worth loving, to praise that which pleaseth Thee most, to esteem that which is most precious unto Thee, and to dislike whatsoever is evil in Thine eyes.
Grant us with true judgment to distinguish things that differ, and above all to search out and do what is well pleasing unto Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
I realized very early on 11/7/09 that I was as ready to start Phase 3 of implementation as I needed to be. Whereupon I felt for that moment that everything was right with the world.
I noticed something in describing “what I do” when asked, now: if I don’t get that look of amazement, however small, I get the feeling that I must be explaining myself wrong.
I’m dumbfounded to think 2009 is almost over. This year I actually got things to spit stuff back at me, but I have been definitive in lacking female companionship. 1 out of 2, not that bad.
Since I Own Paladin.ai
.ai is the country code for Anguilla, so I bought this. 12:01am comments?
November 7, 2009
dreams
what of the dreams we forget?
shall existence not be marked by such experiences?
to feel as if we have lived a life in the dark?
turned the river of life in secret? 12:01am comments?
Dance
It’s been interesting, I could say. I’ve been off and on with getting small sicknesses, colds that seem to turn on then off, just like that. They have the effect of just clouding my brain to the point where I am generally unable to think. Though in these times, I find that I can still write, so I’ve been writing poems and paragraphs, the small essays on my journal and the book I’ve been writing since 2007 (reaaally slow going, that). I do get thoughts, here and there, when I am in the grips of the muddle headed coughs, and I write them down, and they do make sense, but I find that a clear headed day progresses me much further than a few days of that type of cogitation.
So as far as the project goes, I think I have some idea of what the generalized solution is supposed to be. That was how I left it when I went to sleep on Tuesday, whereupon I woke up with a small fever on Wednesday, and I could not do as well what I had planned for that day, which was to go over the work from Monday, etc., and see if it made sense. Alas. But I have started to dig in with a new implementation plan (detailed design), and my plan (plans are useless, planning is essential, per Eisenhower) is to have it done before the end of November. How far before is left to question, I guess depending on how many days I am waylaid by illness. But I am hopeful.
As far as money goes, I have enough for another couple months before I think I will need to work again. Selling off (trying to sell off) another ounce coin, have a couple K coming in from working the few days for Access again QAing, and have a K just sitting there in my brokerage account, waiting for Apple stock to stay above 200 to withdraw it. But I have to time the work, since it takes about a month after putting a month of work in for the money to turn around back into my account via wire. Worst come to worst, I’ll take another few K from a credit card, if I think the generalized solution will be enough to get funded relatively quickly. Exciting times. Life is pretty good.
I Think He's Right Christopher Hitchens says, “...many of those who put their faith in revelation and prophecy and prayer are feeling the need to give an account of themselves.” 12:01am comments?
November 1, 2009
Quote
If your every human plan and calculation has miscarried, if, one by one, human props have been knocked out, and doors have shut in your face, take heart. God is trying to get a message through to you, and the message is: “Stop depending on inadequate human resources. Let me handle the matter.”
